Holy crap we are having a baby!

Written May 19^th 2014 (3 weeks and 5 days pregnant apparently)

I am still having a hard time believing it, I am pregnant. We literally started trying May 2^nd 2014, after book club, I may have been tipsy. I was shocked that Mike wanted to try so soon, I have always said I would respect his wishes for awhile if he wanted to wait, he then respected mine and we got to trying. Trying for a baby is F.U.N, like really fun, and so different, it has an amazing loving purpose. I was using my “Glow” app and it tells you when you are fertile, so we took full advantage of our fertility. 

Right away I noticed a few things, my hair is stupidly soft, like my cat Lucy’s fur, amazingly soft, and its not falling out as much. I also got nauseous cleaning the bathroom, which never happens AND dumping out wine (also something that never happens). I told my friend Kristi about these things and said I must want a baby so bad that I am subconsciously creating symptoms…I couldn't have them already! Kristi said hormones were hormones, and to tell her when I took a test. 

So I waited, and then started worrying that when I took a test and it was negative I would be so sad, and then I decided to start taking tests way before my period when I knew it would be negative to desensitize myself to the lack of a second line. So I did, Thursday it was negative, Friday morning I took another….brought it to Mike and asked if I was crazy, he saw the lines too so we decided to test again tomorrow, same thing Saturday, so Sunday we decided to use the drugstore test (our friends gave us bulk tests that they bought online that we had used before). I peed on the stick, and after three minutes it had an x on it, I brought it to Mike and he just smiled, I praised him for being so efficient and asked if he was surprised. Mike noted that he always had faith in his sperm (Men). Then we went back to sleep, cause this was at 5 am (Little Gizmo is an early riser, much to mommies dismay). I laid in bed in joyous shock, infertility has always been a fear of mine, like cold sweats kind of fear, so for it to happen so fast felt to me like God saying “relax daughter, I have this”. I was so grateful that I am type A by nature and tend to over plan everything. This mean that the second we had “trying sex” not a drop of alcohol entered my system, caffeine was limited, pain killers were not taken (I now take Tylenol for bad headaches that may turn into migraines), pre-natal’s and omegas were taken and I tried to eat healthy (and failed mostly, damn wedding candy bar leftovers).

I am trying not to be too crazy, but am honestly worried that if I jog I will bounce Gizmo right out, Kristi and my pregnancy books tell me I am wrong so I jogged. I have told a few friends, just so they can keep me on track and make sure I don’t loose my mind.

Mike really wants to wait to tell the majority of people, I agree, if something happens I don’t want to have to re-tell people. However I am a horrible liar, a friend asked today if I was pregnant and I got a huge grin and tried to look away, I am hopeless. Mike thinks I should just say that we are “trying to have a baby” which is true except one is already growing, but we may need to practice cause I still feel that’s a lie. I am hoping not many people ask, I don’t want to make Mike crazy.

Dear Gizmo, I am so in love with you already. I find myself touching my belly and praying for you many times a day! I pray that you stay with me, that you keep growing and developing and that I get to meet you in January/February next year. Your daddy is pretty smitten too, he’s planning to put extra insulation above your room and lay carpet in your room so you will be nice and warm! Love you little one.

<3 Mommy.