Time is flying....Eek

Looking at calendars is starting to stress me out a little bit (a lot)! I know I have a long time to go, after all we are only just entering our 23rd week...however, when you look at how many weeks are left (I haven't counted, I would likely cry) and factor in what needs to get done, it's daunting. It's not the home stuff that's stressful, it's work. I want to do the very best for the families I serve and get them as far in the adoption process as I can before I am off. It makes me so sad that I won't be able to attend some of their adoption hearings... I know I will be cuddling my real live baby when they happen but it still shocks me when we are talking about next steps and I have to catch myself and say that the hearing will likely be after I am gone... I know that this bit will get easier the closer we get to the due date, and I will probably be exhausted and beyond ready to be off work long before January 29th comes...but right now it's scary and sad and overwhelming and I feel like I don't have enough work hours to work on what I want to get done! 

It's also daunting to look at the calendar and not know when babe will come, I mean, will she come early and knock my preggo butt out of work before the end of January? January is a three paycheck month and I REALLY want that last cheque...but will I be able to earn it...the not knowing is a little stressful for me, I am a planner and love budgeting and really want to have all credit cards paid off before this babe comes AND have a set amount of money in the bank. For now I am focused on the money in the bank and figure if I need to carry some credit debt into mat leave that's not the end of the world, I can make the minimum payment easily. It would not be ideal but I need to be okay with this in case it happens. I figure all this unknown is preparing me for life with an infant, I won't have control over anything and the best laid plans will likely fail...so here I am getting okay with that! 

As I type little bean is bouncing around in my belly, super active, which is so cool and unusual for this time of day, must be the apple juice :) 

Am I the only one who goes through this? I can't be....

<3 Kass

22 weeks! Musings and belly pic

Hey! So I am 22 weeks along this week and this belly is getting HUGE according to me, Mike still thinks it's little. I remind him that he doesn't have to roll over at night with it or try to bend straight down to touch his feet...cause when I do I CAN FEEL IT! It's kind of crazy, in a cool and creepy way, feels like a ball, that if I smoosh it it will pop, I can also feel her grooving around in there, which is amazing and odd...in an amazing way? :) 

We went to the South Calgary Health Campus for our first meeting with my OBGYN, (Dr. Zacharias) She is lovely, as is the hospital, and the staff..I feel like this will be a great experience. At the South Calgary Hospital (SCHC from now on) they even have a team of dietitians, OT's, psych, social work etc ON STAFF that we can meet with throughout the pregnancy (and after). I noted that I would like to chat with a dietitian (really I want to ask about tea, and if runny eggs are really that bad, cause I want runny eggs with toast...BAD). I expected to wait forever to hear from anyone, the lady called me a week later, and we booked a meeting already!!! I'm impressed and Mike was too!

I have kept up with my working out, have been twice this week actually, my legs hurt but it feels so good to move again. I usually end up biking (upright, I can't recombant bike anymore) and then doing some strength training. It takes about 45 minutes and I am tired and calling it quits, so less than normal but it feels good. Baby K is super active after, I think she likes when I move around and jiggle her...silly baby, just like her mama, loves to work out! 

Overall I am still feeling great, SUPER tired but I think that's cause I ran out of B vitamins...mental note to buy more...other than that I am liking the second trimester a lot! I am almost done refinishing the crib, and will go pick out paint soon too, carpet is being installed after thanksgiving and then we can decorate the nursery and move everything in. Mike will love this because there is baby stuff in the basement right now, and he wants to finish the basement asap. (in all fairness the dresser is huge and heavy, but the rest could be moved around his finishing work...but that's a pain). 

Here is a belly pic! I just love how pregnant I am looking, not just chubby thank you very much! Also, my arm muscles are coming back and legs too a little bit!! Hallelujah! I am getting over the shock of how much thicker I have gotten since getting pregnant, but I am delighted that I am working out again because I like being fit! 

Hope y'all are doing well! 
<3 Kass

19 week and GENDER REVEAL!!!!

Let me start by saying our little girl is a lady, she sure is modest and had us thinking that she wasn't going to show us her genitals for most of the ultrasound. She had her little legs tucked under her bum the whole time... even after I went to the bathroom!! Then all of a sudden she moved suddenly and our tec snapped a picture, said that it looked like a labia and she was going to say girl!! Mike and I were skeptical for sure, cause it was so quick and to our untrained eye looked like it could also be a tiny penis..

We headed to my Aunt's work to tell her and she wasn't anymore convinced than we were... then I started googling, I googled 18 week ultrasound boy, and went through the pictures, it became very clear that tiny penis's are obviously a penis, they are out there with authority! There were also other pictures of little girls that looked the same as the shot that we had!

I feel like the tec is likely right, I am hoping she is because it would be amazing to have a little girl! Now I need to start designing the nursery, I feel like I am starting from scratch with my planning...I kinda want to make it a super delicious girly space....like epically girly, we will see what Mike lets me get away with :) 

                         Here is how I told my family members who were able to come over... 

 Really I just wanted black forest cake, so I decided to color the whipped cream from the middle, cute and effective :) 

So we are pretty excited, Mike has always wanted a little girl so he is pretty stoked! 

Also...this week my uterus feels HUGE, like a huge ball in my belly, its very shocking. I also can feel baby girl move more, its pretty cool, she was kicking me before the ultrasound :) 

<3 Kass

17 Weeks!

Hey all! 

So this week baby K is the size of a turnip/onion or the palm of your hand! I told Mike this and he feels that this means the baby is huge! I would have to agree with him because my baby belly popped for sure this week; there is no denying it at all anymore :). Overall I feel pretty good, still super tired, sleeping okay, not sick at all really. The most significant change that has happened this week would be my appetite I think, this baby is SO hungry, I am waking up at 5 am starving even if I have a healthy snack (cottage cheese, sausage and cheese, fruit/veggies or something like that) before bed! The only challenge with this is I have to take my Thyroid med on an empty stomach, I am not  willing to mess around and take it on a half empty stomach so I have been taking it at 5 am when I wake up with a big glass of water and then having a snack thirty minutes later (unless I fall back asleep). 

I think my biggest craving has been running...seriously, all I think about is going for a brisk jog on the treadmill. I decided to try it yesterday and was pleased with myself. As soon as I got pregnant it was like the baby stole my cardio, I would get out of breath walking or getting dressed, everything was hard. I expected the same thing to happen yesterday...it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought! I walked for 5 minutes at 3 mph, then jogged at 4.5 mph for a minute (could have gone longer but I don't want to push it to much to soon) and then walked for two minutes, ran for one etc. All in all my workout was only 22 minutes (the length of a Corner Gas episode), however I am proud that my body is able to run again, it felt so good. I am sore today, mostly in my lower back and my feet but I am hoping to jog tomorrow as well if I can...I am working late so that may block it. 

I also think I will start going back to my gym, I haven't been able to go as they don't have air conditioning and I am physically unable to handle heat anymore (literally takes my breath away), but since it's cooler I may start heading there over the lunch hour again, this I am hoping will increase my energy again because currently by 2-3 I need a nap/coffee to stay awake..its always coffee that I reach for too :) So hopefully next week will bring more jogging and workouts at my beloved gym! I am pretty excited and daydreaming about it already...

Hope y'all are doing amazing! 

Also, I may have felt baby move yesterday....still not 100% sure but there was something going on and it wasn't gas or needing to use the bathroom related; So that's beyond exciting! 

<3 Kass

What pregnancy does to me...so far

So lets move in a more positive direction from the last post. I do need to say that I am super lucky with this pregnancy so far, I am not sick, really at all since I started taking my prenatal at night. I sleep well, thyroid is now back to normal so weight gain is gradual, overall the only "crappy" symptom is that I am tired...but that's not even that bad because its only after work and it forces me to slow down. It would be nice if my gym had air conditioning so I could work out at lunch, but meh, I am not to upset about being too tired to work out after work either.

What pregnancy makes me want to do is read...a lot, like Mike is starting to tease me about it. Here is what I have read lately;

1. City of Bones, Cassandra Clare May 2nd
2. Women, Food and God, Geneen Roth May 17
3. You having a baby May 19
4. Belly Laughs, Jenny McCarthy, May 21
5. Revealed, P.C Cast, May 25
6. A thousand farewells, Nahlah Ayed, June 3
7. The fault in our stars, John Green, June 7
8. The girlfriends guide to pregnancy, Vicki Lovine, June 20
9. The book thief, Markus Zusak, June 29
10. The Zahir, Paulo Coelho, July 7
11. Someday Someday Maybe, Lauren Graham, July 24
12. The Art of racing in the rain, Garth Stein, July 28
13. Half Broke Horses, Jeanette Walls, Aug 1
14. The house I loved Tatiana de Rosnay, Aug 4
15. The maze runner, James Dashner, Aug 8
16. The scorch trials, James Dashner, Aug 9
17. The death cure, James Dashner, Aug 10

A little insane hey...Mikes essentially single because all I want to do is read, I think its because I realize that I soon will not have time...so I am powerhousing books like crazy. 

OH at the same time I am reading a book for work AND a crap load of pregnancy books...so feel sorry for Mike. 

What are you all reading? 

<3 Kass

The last secret post :)

Written July 8^th 2014, 11 weeks and 1 day pregnant.

So I suck at keeping this updated apparently, so let’s do a quick update.

I was put on thyroid medication and my thyroid levels have stabilized! However it had time to affect my weight gain and I have gained about double what they tell you to during your first trimester. I am trying to be okay with this and just try to eat really well and exercise a little too.

There are two hard things about gaining weight, first is me. I worked so hard the last two years and was down around 25 pounds, into my “little clothes” and I was super proud of my body…seeing the weight go back on is so hard, and especially when it went on so fast. I think women are brainwashed to fear the weight gain, so no matter how much we tell ourselves that the baby needs us to be a little squishy its still a mental challenge.

Second thing that’s hard…people who are thoughtless and hateful. I have gained 10 pounds in the last 2-3 months, I get it, I am short and it’s obvious. However some people are really mean in what they say to pregnant women. I will make you a list of things you should not say to a woman who is expecting…all of these gems have been said to me recently.

1.       You won’t be able to hide your pregnancy much longer. DON’T SAY THIS UNLESS SOMEONE TOLD YOU THEY WERE PREGNANT!!!! Actually don’t say it at all.

2.       Are you sure there is just one in there… I mean really?! Is this comment freaking necessary?

3.       Hopefully you don’t gain weight at the same rate for the rest of your pregnancy. Hopefully I don’t loose my ability to be politically correct tell where to go and how to get there…

Its hard enough dealing with my own mental crap about gaining weight without uninvited opinions from the peanut gallery…so do the world a favor, don’t say stupid mean things to women period…never comment on weight gain; and once you know they are pregnant and they are showing you need to say nice things like “you look lovely”, “how amazing that you are growing a human inside of you” instead of commenting on how large they are getting, cause eventually we as a society need to recognize how amazing women are DESPITE how small, big, curvy whatever they are, period.

And to make everything worth it, I found babe’s heart beat on the Doppler today…best sound ever!! Mike was so cute and re-listened to the recording a couple of times…AMAZING!

Update

Thanks to synthroid my thyroid is back where it needs to be, and the weight gain has stabilized…I haven’t lost any, but I am not trying to either. Its steady now and my doc isn’t concerned so I am dealing. It helps that the belly LOOKS like it has a baby in it, as opposed to looking fat..

Also, all the pregnancy people base what you should aim to gain during pregnancy based on your BMI, a tool that even my doctor says is outdated and a piece of crapola due to it not taking into account muscle mass (I have a lot of muscle naturally). If I do my BMI on my pre-wedding weight it considered me overweight…I give the BMI a middle finger to that comment (stupid jerk), as I don’t feel like I was overweight at all, a little cushy but mostly muscle. SO I think the pregnancy fairy’s need to update the recommended gain and BMI stuff to reflect real women, or simply say, “eat healthy and try not to gain 100 pounds” instead of making women feel like a giant failure if they have gained half of their recommended weight gain in the first trimester due to an underactive thyroid. Sigh.

I promise the next post will be less grumpy…maybe, who knows.

<3 Kass

Another secret blog post- Little bit of an overshare so beware.

Written June 4^th 2014, 6 weeks 2 days pregnant.

In my last post I mentioned some terrifying things during pregnancy, the worst so far is bleeding…I had a little bleeding on Monday and went to urgent care to make sure everything was okay. I am so glad I did; apparently my O negative blood type was not compatible with the baby and I needed a needle, I also possibly have a bladder infection (will find out tomorrow). The doctor sent me for a emergency ultrasound to make sure everything was okay (even though he said my cervix was closed and my womb felt like it should he wanted to make sure the baby was where it needed to be. Thankfully we were able to get in that night and Mike was able to come.

I have never needed to pee so bad, I didn't even drink the full liter! I would have wet myself if I did, however it was a good distraction for how nervous I felt, so that’s handy. I am happy to report that babe is great! With a heart rate of 103 bpm, it was measuring at 6 weeks J Such a relief, AND we got to see the heart beat and get pictures…which we used to tell my mom and dad, and brother and sister in law about the baby! So exciting J

*Update* I know the talk of bleeding during the first trimester may be an overshare, but if I hadn't had my girls to talk me through it I would have lost my mind...it was so scary. I noticed that some things made it worse (Walking the color me rad race, peppermint oil) and once I cut those out it stopped. I eventually needed to come to the following conclusion to reduce my stress level about the spotting and move forward. 

1. Miscarriages typically are due to something being wrong, a genetic abnormality, illness etc. Short of using drugs and alcohol and overusing coffee/getting in an accident/assaulted there was little I could do to bring on a miscarriage. That's not to say I couldn't do things that increased spotting (heavy exercise, peppermint oils etc). AND some spotting is normal, if its bright red, filling pads, has clots or "stuff" in it or if your nervous its best to go to the doctor but a little spotting for me was normal and nothing to get my panties in a twist about. 
2. If I was going to miscarry there isnt a thing I could do about it. That doesn't mean that I didn't put myself on a few hours of bed rest if I had scary spotting, but that was to force myself to relax, pray and give my spotting time to change color so I could breathe again. 

Thankfully this part of my pregnancy seems to be over, I haven't had a spot for weeks. Mental note for the next time I am preggo, I will brace myself for grossness and pray its just the normal and okay kind I experienced this time. 

I also promise my next post will be less gross and bodily fluid-ey. But, to all my girls who have this during their pregnancy, I feel you, its scary as H.E double hockey sticks. And to the husbands/partners etc whose preggo love is having this happen, I know its scary for you as well, Mike was super supportive during this time and even came to a doctors appointment with me so he could hear the doctors take on the spotting so he could use the same words to reassure me if it happened again...and he did. 

<3 Kass