Time is flying....Eek

Looking at calendars is starting to stress me out a little bit (a lot)! I know I have a long time to go, after all we are only just entering our 23rd week...however, when you look at how many weeks are left (I haven't counted, I would likely cry) and factor in what needs to get done, it's daunting. It's not the home stuff that's stressful, it's work. I want to do the very best for the families I serve and get them as far in the adoption process as I can before I am off. It makes me so sad that I won't be able to attend some of their adoption hearings... I know I will be cuddling my real live baby when they happen but it still shocks me when we are talking about next steps and I have to catch myself and say that the hearing will likely be after I am gone... I know that this bit will get easier the closer we get to the due date, and I will probably be exhausted and beyond ready to be off work long before January 29th comes...but right now it's scary and sad and overwhelming and I feel like I don't have enough work hours to work on what I want to get done! 

It's also daunting to look at the calendar and not know when babe will come, I mean, will she come early and knock my preggo butt out of work before the end of January? January is a three paycheck month and I REALLY want that last cheque...but will I be able to earn it...the not knowing is a little stressful for me, I am a planner and love budgeting and really want to have all credit cards paid off before this babe comes AND have a set amount of money in the bank. For now I am focused on the money in the bank and figure if I need to carry some credit debt into mat leave that's not the end of the world, I can make the minimum payment easily. It would not be ideal but I need to be okay with this in case it happens. I figure all this unknown is preparing me for life with an infant, I won't have control over anything and the best laid plans will likely fail...so here I am getting okay with that! 

As I type little bean is bouncing around in my belly, super active, which is so cool and unusual for this time of day, must be the apple juice :) 

Am I the only one who goes through this? I can't be....

<3 Kass